Ammie Not Amy

It's 5 o'clock somewhere

I do really well until 5 and then everything unravels.  Not sure if it's because I'm tired, bored, or a combination of the two.  I'm trying to stay positive and stick to my rules. 

 I've been tracking my food and to be honest, I'm not sure how many calories I should be eating.  I should call up my wls clinic and ask I guess.  Duh!  The good news is that tomorrow is a new day, right?

I suck

The 5 day pouch test went well.  I learned that I am still able to feel that fullness in my pouch when eating and that I can sustain myself on 800 calories or less (sometimes only 500).  I even lost 3 pounds at the end of the 5 days.  The problem is that it all went to shit on day 6.  I'm really mad at myself.  I hate that I still feel like I have no control over my addictions (and that there is more than 1 now).  The scale keeps going up and it makes me want to cry, throw a fit, and ultimately punish my body by putting junk in it.  I have to get this under control and at least for today, I have a plan.  My plan for today is:

*To not eat carbs that are bad for me (minus the wedge of banana chocolate chip muffin I've already popped into my mouth),

*To drink protein shakes all day and only eat 1 solid meal (dinner),

*Log every single calorie that goes into my mouth (the wedge of muffin included),

*Drink 64 ounces of water today (this will be the hardest for me) and abstain from drinking any drinks that have calories and contain 0 protein.

I should probably add exercise onto this list but I don't want to set myself up to fail.  I'm going to take it one day at a time.  Today is day one.  Wish me luck.  I'm gonna need it.

Pouch Test Day 2

Yesterday was a breeze!  I felt great and it's true, I do not feel hunger pains at all.  Today has been harder.  I have had a headache most of the afternoon (carb withdrawal?).  Still no hunger pains but definitely feeling a little more run down.  Tomorrow I think I can eat tuna and eggs. I'd better go boil some now.  Stay tuned.

P.S  And not weight loss as of this morning.

5 Day Pouch Test

I'm doing it out of neccessity. Today is day one. It's almost 12:35 & I'm not the slightest bit hungry (physically hungry that is). And no I haven't cheated either. I haven't been hungry in nearly 2 years. So will someone please tell me why I continue to eat?

Private

I'm thinking of going private.  There's lots of stuff going on with me but I don't feel like I can be completely honest unless I know exactly who's reading.  I'm computer challenged and can't figure out how to see which IP addresses are visiting the site much less ban the ones I'd prefer to not read here.  Maybe I have a huge ego thinking that anyone is reading here anyway.  It's not like I advertised the blog to anyone.  Originally I set this place up for myself, a safe place for me to let it all hang out.  I really need that now.  You've been warned.