The 5 day pouch test went well. I learned that I am still able to feel that fullness in my pouch when eating and that I can sustain myself on 800 calories or less (sometimes only 500). I even lost 3 pounds at the end of the 5 days. The problem is that it all went to shit on day 6. I'm really mad at myself. I hate that I still feel like I have no control over my addictions (and that there is more than 1 now). The scale keeps going up and it makes me want to cry, throw a fit, and ultimately punish my body by putting junk in it. I have to get this under control and at least for today, I have a plan. My plan for today is:
*To not eat carbs that are bad for me (minus the wedge of banana chocolate chip muffin I've already popped into my mouth),
*To drink protein shakes all day and only eat 1 solid meal (dinner),
*Log every single calorie that goes into my mouth (the wedge of muffin included),
*Drink 64 ounces of water today (this will be the hardest for me) and abstain from drinking any drinks that have calories and contain 0 protein.
I should probably add exercise onto this list but I don't want to set myself up to fail. I'm going to take it one day at a time. Today is day one. Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it.
I totally understand. Totally. I do not know why I continue to eat when I am not hungry. It's an addiction that we have, and should be treated as such.
Any support you need, I am right here.
Posted by: Kim (Big Girl, Big City) | June 23, 2009 at 03:21 PM
Kim, thanks so much! You are a HUGE inspiration to me. Your support means more than you know.
Posted by: Ammie Not Amy | June 24, 2009 at 08:13 PM